Not-A-Meme #18: Manners

Rose Farina has posted the latest N-A-M challenge over on her site, asking the question:

How important to you are good manners in Second Life? I don’t mean the hold your pinkie up type of manners either.

When you tell someone you will do something or be somewhere for something do you show up? Are you generally polite to other players you don’t know? (Heaven knows I pick on the ones I do know hehe). Do you feel free to blast others because of the anonymity factor? Do you belong to the group who says if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all group? Feel free to rant, vent or rave about your view on this subject.

To quote Queen Clarice of Genovia (in The Princess Diaries): “Manners matter.”   No one knows that more than the successful businessperson of SL.  When I make a commitment, I do my damnedest to honor it, and both Danielle and I expect the people we hire, and pay good money to, to do the same.  Those that can’t do so can expect to be summarily ejected from the employees group.  (Of course, exceptions are often granted for good cause.  We know things happen, particularly RL things.)

I tend to be known as “the diplomat” of the BLM/Gin Rummy operation, because I’m usually better at talking to people without getting annoyed at them.  An example of this happened at yesterday’s Gin Rummy Job Fair,  when a fairly-new newbie from the Netherlands entered the club.  He wasn’t really a suitable employee for our events, due to the time difference, but I was patient and cheerful with him, explaining a little about how the world works to him, even as Danielle was preparing to eject him for insulting her sub (which I do think was unintentional on his part).  In the end, he was not ejected; he left on his own, but not before I’d given him a landmark to the Shelter and encouraged him to visit there.  I reasoned thusly: By leaving him with a favorable impression of us, I’ve ensured, perhaps, that he’ll come back sometime down the road, when he’s a little more seasoned, and become, if not an employee, perhaps a customer–and perhaps one who’ll tell his friends and draw more people to the club.  “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” as I explained afterwards.

Mostly, good manners should be a byproduct of remembering that there are real human beings behind the avatars we see on screen…something which, sadly, is all too often forgotten in SL.

“You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you…There are plenty of people who say, ‘We don’t care about etiquette, but we can’t stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don’t want him around!’ Etiquette doesn’t have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.”   — Judith Martin (aka “Miss Manners”), 1995

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3 Comments

Filed under Meme Propagation

3 responses to “Not-A-Meme #18: Manners

  1. Bravo, sir!! Manners are so important, in any life, and cost us nothing but a few moments of our time.

  2. *claps* whooooooo 🙂 Thanks for posting! 🙂 Well said! Much better then I was at 1am because I promised Dol I would have it up 😀

  3. Yep, I am the dominator and he is the diplomat. We work quite well together. 🙂 Oh in other words, I’m the Bitch. 😀

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