Sex and the Single Avatar

Bells as Femme Fatale

Bells as Femme Fatale

Our good friend Bells Semyorka, having recently separated from her longtime partner, has decided to take on a “femme fatalepersona with a new group blog, dealing with the dating life for female SL avatars. She’s currently soliciting authors for this group blog; contact her for more details.

In a certain sense, I’m kind of in the same boat as she is. (Though Danielle is still listed as “partner” on my profile, that’s largely for sentimental reasons, as she rarely logs in to SL under that avatar anymore.) Furthermore, I’ve got the same situation in real life, as, nearly a year ago, my wife divorced me and left for Finland, and she remarried shortly thereafter. (Like Dave Barry, I am not making this up.) It occurs to me that I should be making more use of SL as an environment to become comfortable with the dating process so I won’t be so intimidated by it in RL…but I confess to having about as little clue as to how to proceed on the Grid as I would out in the real world.

Now there are a few resources I’ve seen out there that cater to clueless n00bs (and, when it comes to the fairer sex, I’m as clueless as the lot), such as this one by former escort and now land-baroness Lillie Yifu, on her 2nd Sex blog. (From analysis of her other posts, I would say her understanding of the way men tick is uncanny.) And, while Hamlet over at New World Notes pointed to a good resource by one of her commenters, that blog, alas, has dropped off the face of the Net. I’ll have to keep searching; someone, somewhere, must have written something about how to approach women in SL while not appearing as crude, pushy, ill-mannered, or sex-obsessed. And I’m not interested in orgy rooms or other “cock dumps”; those would probably only hinder, rather than help, me when it comes to dealing with real life.

Sometimes, however, opportunities fall right in my lap, as this post on Electric Minds will make clear. In this case, “Cute Model” clearly had me targeted, and I handled the encounter well enough to stick in her mind; some days later, she IM’d me when I was in SL and had nothing else going on, and we spent some nice time together out on a beach sim. Since then, however, nothing much has happened between us; either I totally bungled things, or she was just toying with me all along. I don’t know. And I hate not knowing.

Sigh…sometimes things are simpler in EVE Online, where Lexx and I spend a lot of time (q.v.); there is no “dating” as such, and you don’t even see people, just their spaceships. At least until CCP releases their “Ambulation” upgrade, that will let people get out of their capsules and wander around stations…

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3 Comments

Filed under Relationships

3 responses to “Sex and the Single Avatar

  1. thelexx

    *Snickers* Erbo some times it is better to be clueless than used and cast aside. Man the stories I could tell you. 🙂

  2. Well, I’m a little late to the party, but there’s always this post I wrote on seduction in Second Life:

    http://kateamdahl.livejournal.com/6685.html

    ^^^\ Kate /^^^

  3. Thanks, Kate, but I think at this point it’s no longer needed. More details in a forthcoming post…

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